Reflect on Ourselves When an Issue Arises, and Treat Others Properly

By Xiaocao

“And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the mote out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the mote out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5). The Lord Jesus taught us to not focus on the imperfections we pick on in others when there is some friction; what we should do is to solve our own problems first, for only in this way will we be conforming to the Lord’s will. I cannot help but think of what I experienced recently.

One day, Sister Jinxin and I and other sisters went to help another sister with farm work. One sister was so capable, so she actively taught other sisters who were novices. Then we began to work according to what we learned. While we were working cheerfully, Sister Wang suddenly said to Sister Jinxin anxiously, “Sister, you cannot do it like this. You’ve dug up too much soil. Look, I will show you.” Then sister Jinxin flushed because of embarrassment. I also felt that the sister was unconcerned about others’ feelings, making others feel embarrassed. But then I thought, she was just speaking bluntly and frankly, maybe it was not nice, but she was trying to make things right, so it was not a big deal.

Later, Sister Wang suddenly said to me, “Oh, no. You are also doing wrong. The middle part is already caved in.” My face also burned with embarrassment immediately. Then I hurriedly filled the dents. What’s more, next second, Sister Wang pointed out Sister Jinxin’s problems again and instructed her one more time. At that point, I felt a bit displeased with Sister Wang, thinking, “We are all newbies with little experiences. It is normal to do a poor job. You should understand us and be more tolerant. Don’t measure us with your standards. It cramps our style to have you blaming us all the time.” But I realized my thought was not right; it seemed like our mistakes were all on Sister Wang. So I restrained myself from thinking like that. Unexpectedly, Sister Wang pointed out Sister Sisi’s problems with bad attitude, causing my negative thoughts about her to pop out again. “You are so arrogant. Even though we are doing badly, you can tell us with a good attitude. Are you placing us in strictures by speaking like that?”

I realized that I was holding prejudice against her, which made me feel remorse. So I kept myself quiet and thought of an article I read before. The author used to keep her eyes fixed on other people, and felt her colleagues were selfish, and thus produced some thoughts about others. Afterwards, the Lord’s words made her realize that it was actually she was the selfish person who only considered her own feelings. The Lord Jesus said, “And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). She was easy to feel averse to others when what they said or did involved her interests. She had always been fixing her gaze on others, so prejudices were easily produced.

Was I the same as the author? I only looked at Sister Wang’s minor fault, but didn’t reflect on myself. The reason I felt upset about her was because her attitude hurt my face, I thought she looked down on us, and disrespected us. But the truth was she was a straight-talking person, and she spoke frankly without offense. I highly valued prestige; I indeed did a bad job, but I didn’t want to be accused. Another reason was that I only saw the thing from my own perspective, ignoring the background of the sister’s words. Three of us all did a poor job; this resulted in work that must always be redone by Sister Wang. Besides, it had been raining those days, so what we did would delay the work. Sister Wang actually hoped that we could work after we really grasp it. But I was displeased with her just because of her attitude, and even hoped she could be more tolerant to us and bring us enjoyment. How insensible I was! I thought quite highly of myself, never thinking about her difficulties.

Later, I saw Sister Wang was smoothing out the unevenness we caused, and I felt terribly sorry about that. So when she again pointed out my problem, although I was still sensitive, I listened to her. What she said was actually right; we failed to do the job well, and should be pointed out. Then the three of us decided to work together and supervise each other to correct irregularities. Surprisingly, when we cooperated to work, it became much better. Sister Wang saw our improvement and was reassured. Then she went to do her own part.

Thanks be to God. This is just a minor experience during my work. But it allowed me to know: Stopping being overly critical of others but reflecting on our own problems is the way to get along with others.