Christian Witness in the Workplace: After a Dispute

By Liu Yi

Whether in life or at work, we all often have conflicts with the people around us because of some trivial matters. This not only causes trouble to ourselves, but also harms others. I once had disputes with a colleague over a work issue …

I work in the planning division of a cosmetic company.

One day, my colleagues in the creative department handed over a few outlines and scripts of a propaganda video. My partner, Linlin, and I immediately started choosing the outlines and scripts. Linlin didn’t quite understand a point and asked for my opinion. I found that point was written by a new colleague in the creative department, who was not familiar with the profession. The content he wrote was too succinct and a little bit incomprehensible, but if we pondered it, we could understand its meaning. I didn’t think it would affect the overall effect, so there was no need to dig it out in minute detail. I told her my opinion. However, after I explained it several times, she didn’t listen to me, but frowned and said, “My opinion is not wrong. Why do you require me to listen to you?”

Hearing what she said, I felt disgusted in my heart and thought, “I’ve explained it to you several times. Why do you still not understand it? You are so stubborn. Don’t you have work experience? It’s such a simple matter, but you consider so much. Why bother? You are too conceited.” Thinking of this, I returned to my seat with a sullen face and continued to read other documents, ignoring her.

Seeing that I was ignoring her, Linlin pursed her lips, adjusted her glasses, and then continued to read the document with her head lowered without saying a word. A colleague saw the awkward atmosphere between me and Linlin and took the initiative to ease it. After reading the document, the colleague agreed with me, and patiently explained it to Linlin for a while, but Linlin still insisted on her opinion and even argued with the colleague.

Hearing her words, I hated her even more, thinking to myself, “You have a higher education than me, but you are too stubborn! It’s so difficult to communicate with you.” At that point, I completely lost my patience. Seeing that she was still chattering and tangled, with the document in her hand, I couldn’t hold back my anger and took the document from Linlin’s hand very angrily. Then Linlin immediately covered her mouth with her hand, lowered her head, and stopped saying. The colleague stood there looking awkward. I put the document on the table with a sullen face, and sat back in my seat to continue reading the document.

The air seemed to freeze, and if someone threw a needle on the ground, they would probably hear a “ding dong” sound. I moved to the side to look at the document and out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Linlin bowed her head with her eyes fixed on the other document and that she didn’t turn the page for a while. Seeing this scene, I felt inexplicably upset in my heart, thinking: This is originally a trivial matter, so why could it become like this? Besides, Linlin was so serious because she was trying to make things clear at work, so as to make an attractive propaganda video for our new products. She was responsive to the work. However, after I said it several times, I became impatient with and despised her and thought she was too stubborn. My action of taking the document from Linlin just now was so irrational! The Lord taught us to love others as ourselves and to be tolerant and patient. I often read the Lord’s words, but why couldn’t I put them into practice at the critical moment? I couldn’t even live in harmony with others at the very least. Alas, our relationship has become so embarrassing! We see each other all the time, so how should we get along in the future? In such an awkward atmosphere, I could only continue reading the document.

In the following days, Linlin and I became estranged, and we didn’t talk about everything with each other like before. Whenever I saw her, I wanted to speak to her but I didn’t know what to say, and she didn’t take the initiative to talk to me when she saw me. In the face of this situation, I didn’t know what to do and felt very upset.

Later, I saw the scriptures say, “A fool utters all his mind” (Proverbs 29:11). “Proud and haughty scorner is his name, who deals in proud wrath” (Proverbs 21:24). I realized that those who always lose their temper are fools. When we see others say and do things that are not in our way, we despise them, and even get angry with them, without a little love. This is a manifestation of an arrogant person. Thinking about my behavior, I couldn’t help but feel somewhat ashamed. When Linlin raised the problem, I had no love or patience. After explaining it a few times, I saw that she didn’t change her mind so I felt that she was too stubborn and lost my temper with her. Wasn’t I too arrogant and irrational? Thinking of the scene when Linlin bowed her head and said nothing, I realized that I had caused harm to the people around me. We were born with different family backgrounds, and when we were growing up, what we saw and heard and the people and things we came into contact with were different. Therefore, it is normal for everyone to look at issues from different perspectives and have different opinions. When there is disagreement, we should discuss it together to find a suitable plan. Moreover, when Linlin did not understand and was confused, she could come up for discussion. This showed her serious and responsible attitude, and it is her strength. In fact, everyone has their own strengths. God arranged for us to work together as partners, so we can use our strengths, make up for each other, and work together with one heart. Partners are very capable assistants to each other and are inseparable. Without partners, we have to work harder for the same results. But I was too arrogant and didn’t have any tolerance for others. How can I get along with people normally? Thinking of this, I decided to apologize to Linlin. But I hesitated and thought: If I apologize, what about my face? Lord, what should I do?

I saw the scriptures, “For the day of the LORD of hosts shall be on every one that is proud and lofty, and on every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low” (Isaiah 2:12), and “There is lifting up; and He shall save the humble person” (Job 22:29). I understand that the Lord wants us all to come off our high horse and be humble people, not to be arrogant and overbearing people. So I prayed to the Lord, asking Him to give me the faith and strength to apologize to Linlin without considering my own face.

When I summoned up the courage to apologize to Linlin, I didn’t feel ashamed, but felt much more relaxed. Linlin not only didn’t blame me, but said to me, “It doesn’t matter. It’s normal that we have different ideas when we encounter problems. Next time we encounter such a thing, we can express our thoughts and discuss to find the solution together.”

Thank the Lord! I knew that it was the Lord who reconciled the relationship between me and Linlin, and it was the result of practicing the Lord’s words.

In the days that followed, Linlin and I resumed our previous harmonious relationship.