Perception of Life: To Overcome Life Setbacks, Use Long-Term Thinking

By Zheng Nuo

A friend came to me and complained about her recent months of unsatisfactory working.

“Some time ago, I was assigned to be in charge of the project in collaboration with a foreign-capital enterprise. Once the cooperation is successful, I would get the work opportunity abroad. I was thrilled, so I worked overtime almost every day collating information, striving for the acquisition of the project. But when the preparation work was ready, a series of unexpected bad news came one after another: visa refusal, other projects’ problems … What’s worse, when I was hard-pressed, my boss told me the plan had changed: The joint project would be handed over to my colleagues. Hearing the news, I slumped on my chair. I just cannot take it. Going abroad fell through, and whether I can keep my job is also uncertain. Our company has lots of talented people and I have been cautious all the time, strict with myself, for fear of falling behind others. But after I managed to get the opportunity, I just lost it so easily. Why is my life so hard?”

I felt so sorry for her when I saw her in great agony and frustration. But I didn’t know how to comfort her and help her bounce back. A couple of days later, I came across a real story online:

They were classmates and graduated from a military medical university. They were neck and neck in their grades, but their lives after graduation were so different.

The former one was sent to a remote and desolate border post with harsh conditions. Several years later, he was even sent to the front to get involved in the rescue, living an extremely dangerous life. However, the latter one was sent to one of the major municipal hospitals and absorbed advanced medical knowledge and even became a medical graduate.

As time went by, the former person returned from the front and worked in a small hospital. The hardships he underwent, and death trials made him understand more how to value and be thankful, so he worked harder than ever. He had always been diligent and conscientious in his work. Although he failed in the master’s exams two times, he gritted his teeth and got on with it. When he was 35 years old, he finally passed the exam and later he got the exam-free admission for Ph.D. degree. At last, he became a very well-known specialist in cardiothoracic surgery.

The latter person was also 35 years old, but it seemed that his good luck had already run out. He failed PhD qualifying exams and was in last place in scientific research, and his carelessness in surgery brought medical conflicts. His life was smooth sailing before, so he was incapable of withstanding setbacks. From then on, he yielded to despair and accomplished nothing.

This story led me to a deep feeling. God is fair to everyone. Life isn’t always smooth, nor is it always tough. Maybe other people’s happy days are the time when we are in depression, making us feel destiny is so unfair. Why does good luck always come to others? But when we shift our awareness away from negativity and consider the long-term view, we will find that setbacks are temporary, are minor processes in what is a greater plan unfolding. Once we overcome them calmly, we will be greeted by a happy life.

When setbacks befall, many people see them as the end of the world, give themselves over to despair, being plunged into dejection. For example, after national examination each year, there are always some people who have a mental breakdown for failing to make the grade, and even commit suicide. Some people, like my friend, encounter setbacks and failures in the workplace, and after they are attacked, they then forsake themselves in hopelessness and negativity, losing upward mobility. There must be more than one reason for these tragedies, but one thing is certain: Those people choose unwise paths because they have no idea about the meaning of setbacks.

I was reminded of the biblical story of Job. His previous seventy years of life was really straightforward: immense wealth, beautiful children, and plenty of servants; Job was the greatest of all the men of the east. But when good days passed, he encountered life setbacks repeatedly when he was around 70 years old: An entire mountain of cattle and sheep disappeared, his property vanished, and his sons and daughters perished, and he was covered with horrible boils—the suffering he went through was unimaginable.

From the outside, it seemed that Job had his luck run out. But everyone knows now when Job underwent trials, God and Satan were betting with each other; God allowed Satan to afflict Job but Satan could not take Job’s life. So Job came under sudden and fierce attacks. Job was upright in the eyes of God, but he was also attacked and tempted by Satan. We are living in the domain of Satan, so we are inevitably harmed and fooled by Satan. Isn’t it normal to encounter frustrations, big or small, in study, career, and family? Nevertheless, each hardship happens to us with God’s permission and is controlled by God’s hands.

So why does God allow setbacks in our life? What is God’s will behind them?

It is recorded in the Book of Job in the Bible, “But he knows the way that I take: when he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:10). What Job said was true. God searches people’s innermost hearts, and He is well aware of every person’s situation. In order to make up for our inadequacies and make us live better, God allows various setbacks, hardships and frustrations to happen. Through the misfortunes, which are like a mirror, we realize our inadequacies, and then we will have the opportunity to grow. So don’t be discouraged in front of setbacks. Let’s regard them as junctions for recharge and refuel God prepares for us. Once we get through them, we will then be able to take a big step forward. Thus, if we endure hundreds of trials and are still indomitable, there will be one day we become people whom God loves and delights in, like valuable pure gold, being tempered many times.

Just like Job, who sought God from all things. In the beginning, he didn’t understand the wondrousness in God’s deeds. But after he stood testimony for God in hardships, God personally appeared to him, spoke to him, showing him God’s deeds, enabling him to gain more true and thorough knowledge of God. “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear: but now my eye sees You”—this strengthened Job’s faith and was his greatest gain. After that, God redoubled His blessings to Job and Job’s lifespan, and moreover, Job gained more wealth and more beautiful children than he had before.

It can be seen that God doesn’t use the hardships and setbacks to put us in trouble or take something from us. Instead, His purpose is to benefit and perfect us. Therefore, we need to change our perspectives to see the frustrations and failures, and use long-time thinking to see our life.

To think long-term is wisdom. It can help us to face life setbacks and failures calmly. It is also insight, enabling us to see clearly the truth, stand up and move forward. When we consider the long-term view, we will be able to see the special gifts God bestows upon us. For example, although my friend lost the opportunity to work abroad, she found deviations in work, realized she was not mature enough and needed more experiences.

When setbacks come, the attitude we choose will determine the outcome. If we calmly face misfortunes and learn lessons from them, we will gain valuable experiences. On the contrary, if we escape and back down, and forsake ourselves, our lives will be ruined.

At this moment, it is sunny outside. I pick up my phone and dial the number of my friend …